I’m doing this new thing where I try to make each minute count. Not in a selfhelp kind of way but more so because I realised that I was having a problem with accountability. Somebody helped me to think about it differently recently, to acknowledge each minute, whether I’m “pushing to make each minute count towards making something great, or enjoying the great things around us.” And so these days I try to be more honest about what I’m doing with my time, and whether I’m using it for good, or if I’m just spending time on twitter clicking refresh every time there’s a (1) on the tab in my browser*
And so now I try to think a little more in terms of cost benefit. Don’t get me wrong. I still have a lot of fun. I still take hour long breaks after 45 minutes of being in the library to drink chai lattes with my best friend. I read books when I’m supposed to be reading articles for college. I spend more time on facebook than I’m willing to admit. And maybe these can’t always be stretched to enjoying the great things around me. (although despite how trite this may sound I attribute a good bit of my overall contentedness with life to Facebook, given that it allows me to keep up easily with those of my best and closest friends who are overseas, and lets me to watch the kids I met at summer camp for the past four years get into college and have fun with life.)
But the difference is accountability. I’m not drinking chai lattes and painting my fingernails and watching youtube videos of SNL because I deserve to and I’m overworked and I am entitled to take a break. I’m doing it because I straight out want to and one thing I’ve learned since considering my day by how I spend the individual minutes is that I need to just flat out acknowledge when I’m wasting time.
If I get up early enough, I get my favourite seat in the library, which is right by the window and impacts significantly on the amount of work I get done on any given day. The stalls where the charitable societies give out free tea and coffee are literally right outside, and last week a girl wrote, “Come out for coffee!” on a piece of paper and held it up to the window right by where I was sitting. I went out for coffee a little bit later and she gave me a portable compliment from the box they had that I now have in my wallet.
Sometimes I really hate UCC, but usually I like being here so much.
Coincidentally my levels of self-loathing soar when I oversleep.